We're like a lot better than the average bears
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
And then he peed in my hair
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