I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
You smell like stripper and shame
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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