so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
