speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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