Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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