No, you can still breathe under the balls.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
