The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Is it because I queefed?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
