do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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