I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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