either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize