I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
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