I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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