farters have to be the big spoon...
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
