I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
