Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
