She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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