Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
