Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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