Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
