It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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