well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
