I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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