If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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