i can't believe i had my finger in that
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
