Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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