I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
