Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
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If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
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Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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