new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
