If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
