It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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