I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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