It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
