Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
