you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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