hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
