I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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