Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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