When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
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You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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