Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
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My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
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I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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