I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
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