why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Randomize