I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs are out for the taking
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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