There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
