why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
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