I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
