Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize
