i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
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For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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