my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
