once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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