yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
