They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
