Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
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The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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