His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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