Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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