At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
