It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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