she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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