i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
