my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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