He is such a slut. More and more my type.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Randomize
