Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
