and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize