i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Randomize
