i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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