so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize