It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize